Here's the story
Of a wonderful bean
Read on and you'll know
What the hell I mean. . .

A fountainhead of knowledge,
A helpful hand
From a distance you see,
But just you stand. . .

And smell the coffee,
Which no one's allowed
Like many other things
In this house renowned. . .

Hell hath no fury
Like a woman scorned,
But pray hear of this man,
His family he burned. . .

Oh he knows the world,
And has opinions strong
So everyone else is a fool,
Even his family's wrong. . .

One may think he's helpful
But there's a fine line indeed
Between a helping hand
And a patronizing deed. . .

A hypocrite, a chameleon,
Manipulative and cruel. . .
A dementor cold
With faces dual. . .

Every man has fantasies
But this sick, projecting Toby
Thinks he's being cool drooling
Over other women for a hobby

Erotophobia might exist
Between him and the roomie
Being jealous don' help brother,
Only makes you gloomy. . .

A megalomaniac like none
Slamming everyone he can
But at the end he's only
A pathetic, small man. . .