Had you what reason
Had you what right
To take away my rhythm
Steal away my rhyme. . .

You live in paranoia
You exhale prejudice
What you don't think pretty
You crush and perish. . .

There were reasons two,
Actually make it three
For my tolerance, my torture
The thing I call tyranny. . .

I hold them dear;
Try my best to defend
And pray for no danger
And then, not all's drear. . .

They lose their ground
While She rips their guise
One hope there's guilt
For them being so guile. . .

There will be light
And there's always love. . .
Yet I seal my lips 
To let my loved ones live. . .  

Jo the ganith ke vidhwaan
Na thi zaroorat jinko prachaar
Mere daada, mere buzhurkh
Gaye swarg siddhaar. . .

Jaane maane the woh
Apne chhote sheher mein
Tha unka bhi naam
Saagar ke ek leher mein. . .

Shikiya mujhko bhi ganith
Adhyaapak the tum nyaara
Kitaabon ke beecho beech,
Tha ek panna tumhaara. . .

Guroor bhi tha, ahankaar bhi
The woh ghusse waale
Lekin shikshakon ke maamle mein
The bade dilwaale. . .

Kuch logon ke liye tha izzat
Kahin ke liye unhe dikkhaar
Humse bhi nahi tha lagaav
Shaayad ki kiya humein pyaar. . .

Biwi ka the sansaar, par
Bacchon ka na the sahaara
Phir bhi zindagi ke pedh par
Tha ek daal tumhaara. . .

Chaudaah saal ki umr mein
Banaaya jisko kulvadhu
Aaj ke baad na hogi woh
Kabhi bhi unse rubaroo. . .

Hai bas itna hi jeevan
Aaj hai, kal nahin
Guzar hai yun achaanak
Shaayad galat, shaayad sahi. . .

Nahi pata tha hamein
Ki tha tu humko pyaara
Ki dil ke kisi kone mein
Tha ek naam tumhaara. . .

Swargiya Sreedharan Pillai. . .RIP Appuppa. . .

A lotta things have been happening of late, blah blah story of my life, whatever :P I wanna talk of one such thing. . .

I once had a friend (oh really? :P), very close friend, got to know each other really well. . .uske apne problems the aur mere bhi aur dono acche dost ban gaye. . .sharing, caring sorts. . .uska ghussa, uske nakhre, sab sahaa. . .socha, dost hai, use waqt do. . .he’s workin on things, has pressure at home, chalo koi baat nahi. . .haan, lekin yeh kabhi na socha ki ek galti kya ho gayi mujhse, mere saath itna bura sulookh. . .jaise ki main kabhi dost thi hi nahi. . .jaise main ek museebat thi jo uske gale paddh gayi. . .a chill runs down ur spine when ur best friend looks thru U, like U don’t exist. . .baap re. . .bahut royi main, kaafi waqt bhi laga khud ko sambhaalne mein. . .

Haali mein socha, ki main dost banaati hoon, dosti nibhaane ke liye. . .bhale hi ek dost ne dosti toda, main ek baar koshish karti hoon, par haan, doosri or se koi jawaab na aaya. . .it got me thinkin. . .of reasons y one cuts someone out n never looks back. . .

1. Ego- Maybe he’s too proud to get bk to a friend he once abandoned, thinks he never did anything wrong. . . has plenty of other friends, disposing one off won’t matter. . .
2. Cleansing- He was probably at a stage in his life where he wanted to flush out everyone fm his life who caused him pain, or who was filth, accordin to him. . .d rage, disappointment n dejection all projected to one person, who thereby, did not deserve a 2^nd chance. . .
3. Me- This one bothers me. . . Am I d reason? Was I a very unreasonable person. . .short tempered, needy, emotionally dependent? Funnily enuf, I saw myself to b a cheerful, independent person, who’s worked hard to keep her temper under control. . .

 Or. . .

Maybe d whole fight n d friendship were things I overvalued. . .big tym. . .d person, d incident n its importance in ur life. . .it was d phase I was at, everythin seemed so much bigger than it was. . .like when U get shouted at as a kid, by a short tempered neighbour for playing cricket near his house, at a young age, U get really upset abt such things. . .n then U grow up to realize tat others can b wrong n can overreact to situations. . .so jus forgive, n move on. . .it wasn’t U after all :) n boy is tat a relief. . . :)

I'm sure U guys have seen movies where bits of ur life, d roughest n sweetest patches of it, kinda float into ur mind here n there, happens all the time in real. . .atleast mere saath. . .

Aur in yaadon mein toh sabse zyaada apne doston ko paati hoon. . .apne paathshaala ke dost, jin ke saath bachpan beeta hai. . .khel kood, paddhai, nokjhok, hasi, pariksha. . .khadoos adhyaapak, aur woh log, dost aur bade log, jinhone ek chhoti si ladki ko bin baat par ek do baar rulaaya tha. . .ummeed hai woh doosron ko rulaane ke alaawa bhi zindagi mein kuch haasil kar ke aage badh paaye hai! :P

N then college. . .more friends, closer bonding, bein a sane person in an insane institution! Some of the best yrs of my life. . .Lit classes, Hindi classes (zzz. . .), saree days, coll fests (aur unpar aate kuch cute bandhein ;) ) n all those b'day treats n bunkin to eat chaat or jus hang out by d arch. . .a place n time where I made friends within n some very close friends outside college. . .haan yeh baat alag hai ki usme se ek do doston ne. . .chalo bol hi deti hoon, par apne andaaz mein. . .woh gaana yaad aata hai. . . "dil aisa kisi mera toda, barbaadi taraf aisa moda. . .ek bhale maanush ko . . .amaanush banaake chhoda. . ." :) aur jab un doston to khud ki khushaali ke khaatir maaf kiya, tab aur bhi mahaan log gale pad gaye! :P

But there were once these intellectual ppl, who made quotes like "In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday" and "For every dark night, there's a brighter day" n so on. . .n they've such fantastic quotes in Hindi also, bolo! :P Na na, I ain't trying to b cynical, lekin in sab baaton ko actually samajh ne mein bahut waqt lagta hai. . .sab saamp kaat ta hai, tab hum do mein se ek karte hain. . .ya toh hum apne aap ko sambhaalne ki koshish karte hai. . .ya phir ghusse aur peedha mein us saamp ke peeche lag jaate hai. . .aur zyaadatar log wahi karte hain. . .saamp ke peeche lag jaate hain. . .aur yeh bhool jaate hai saamp ne toh apna kaam kar diya hai. . .usne humaari zehen mein vish bhar diya hai. . .aur agar hum apna ilaaj na kare, toh woh vish dheere dheere hamein khatam karne lagta hai. . .U can call it the deemak (termite) effect :P

Hee hee, it's so much easier to laugh things off, now tat U've climbed the mountain :) things have taken a while to sweep clean coz of an ongoing dominos effect. . .par ab sab kachda zehen se baahar. . .yeh dusshera poore teen saal chali, ab mar gaya Raavan. . .n guess wat? I'M BACK!!! :D :D :D

Mere zindagi ke pichle do saal. . .

Apno se paraayi,
Nav duniya ki or. . .
Aur jab paayi maine khushi
Tab mach gaya shor. . .

Adchan pe adchan,
Taane aur sawaal
In hi mein kat gaye
Mere pichle do saal. . .

Kitaabon aur paddhaai ke beech
Mujhe bhi ho gaya pyaar
Lekin kuch log napaawat
Ab kya bataaoon yaar!

Bin baat par lad pade,
Bura tha mera haal
Aansoon aur ghuttan mein guzre
Mere pichle do saal. . .

Shaayad yeh sab kaafi na tha
Ki shareer ne bhi saath chhoda. . .
Bhukhmari aur maansik tanaav ne
Meri sehat ko toda. . .

Ladki se bani gubbaara main
Nyasargon ka hua bhuchaal
Unhe suljhaane mein nikal gaye
Mere pichle do saal. . .

Har surang ke anth mein ujaala
Yeh bhi maine seekha. . .
Baaton ko ek kaan se andar
Aur naakh se baahar cheenka. . .

Meri bimaari ka hai nuska
Nahin hai koi kamaal
Thi kuch apnon ka saath, so beet gaye
Mere pichle do saal. . .

PS: Make tat teen saal, d yr before those two yrs was quite a roller coaster too :P :P :P

Kyun nahi hai poora
Chand falak par
Amaavasya se poonima tak
Kaisa yeh ajeeb darr?

Pankh failaaye khadaa,
Naachne ko betaab mor
Par varsha na hui ab tak,
Phir bhi dekhta us or. . .

Beej toh bo diya,
Par uga nahi daana
Is beech pani aur dhoop ka,
Laga rahega aana jaana

Kuch jag toh gaya hai,
Par savera nahi hua abhi
Lekin haar raat ki hoti ek din
Subah bhi hogi kabhi :)