A handful of random things I remember from my childhood:

1. Walking back from school with my friend, throwing stones in a naali and throwing sand at each other on the way
2. A friend being a hypocrite and me being surprisingly mature enough (all of 7 back then) to realize that it simply wasn't right
3. Being teacher's pet more often than not :P
4. Being asked (read coerced) by class teacher to tie raakhi to a guy in class this one raksha bandhan because I wasn't tying when all other girls were and because there was this one guy in class to whom no one had tied one. I still remember his name
5. Being teased by the guys in class, called all sorta names, my hairband being taken and tossed amongst the guys :P and being teased in particular with a friend :P
6. Fighting with some of the guys in class, chasing (please do not misunderstand :P) a few in and around class and even around school :P think I even slapped one of them in a fight once :P
7. Having a friend with whom I, ahem, teased someone in class :P
8. Having that someone tease me in return and also offending and being offended by him :P
9. Having more than necessary vivid and good memory of everything :P
10. Getting into a catfight and slapping a classmate, we are both past that now
11. Being a happy, fun loving school kid with lots of friends. . .and that, stays. . . :)

It's interesting as to how time has flown and how many of those who weren't friends are friends now. . . :) and how some others have drifted apart :) I talk only of my childhood ofcourse :) lots has happened after that as well :) all tat, well maybe on another fine day. . . :)

Kuch laal kuch safaid,
Mutthi mein bandh ungliyaan
Aur ismein bandha aakrosh
Le jaaye kahaan. . .

Badan kaamp utthe,
Itni ismein bechaeni. . .
Bahut kuch karne ko hai
Chadni hai ek lambi aeni. . .

Haalaat vipaksh hain humaare,
Samay bhi hai paabandh. . .
Shaayad nayi nazar se dikh raha
Ya phir wakai naya hai yeh prabandh. . .

Sab samaapt karne ki chaah,
Par ek sahaara humaara,
Jash-e-bahaar, gul-e-gulzaar
Woh saahil, woh kinaara

Is laun ki roshni se,
Savaaroon apna naya kul
Mehekte mehekte, haule haule jo
Meri saanson mein gaya ghul

Drops of pearl,
In scented mist,
Rush through a promenade
Beginning with a gist

A rush of wind,
Some rain divine
With hands held tight,
Their souls entwine

Unwavering promise,
Sworn untold
An eternal love,
Behold unfolds. . .

Two souls were they
Or shared but one
So tender so pure,
His heart she won. . .

Longing and pining,
That special touch,
They found each other,
Forever to clutch. . .

What’s the deal with marriage? The way parents sometimes talk to their children with respect to marriage, this is how it sounds to me; You’re 8 yrs old and going shoe shopping with your parents. You don’t find shoes that fit you, so your parents just buy you a size bigger. . . eventually your feet will grow into them. . .well news flash, you’re not a child anymore! Your feet don’t really grow anymore and any shoe that doesn’t fit will not no matter how long you keep it. . .

Marriage is at some level a bit of a gamble if not a mystery. . .we live in a society where most parents don’t talk to their children about sex, marriage and things like that. . .but when ‘the time comes’, they just expect you to plunge headlong into one. . .and manage to float, do freestyle and manage a perfect butterfly stroke! I beg to differ with the notion that knowing how to cook and clean and being a virgin* (check footnote ) are prerequisites enough to ‘get a good boy’ and more importantly, sufficient to be ‘prepared’ for marriage. . .going on a slightly different tangent, I was just pondering upon the number of women who might be undergoing marital rape all over India and how many of them actually realize and have been made aware of the fact that their body is not their husband’s property and that a forceful intercourse, even by the husband is still a violation and they need not take it lying down (sadly, literally. . .). Getting back on track, I’ve nothing against arranged marriages, in my opinion, a love marriage stands just a wee bit more chance of surviving more than an arranged marriage because knowing a person is one thing; living with the person is something else altogether. . .so it’s not significantly ‘better’ or ‘worse’. . .

No man, or woman’s perfect. . .the success of a marriage or any relationship does not depend on perfection. . .it depends on how much the relationship matters to you, how much you’re willing to do and also, what imperfections are acceptable to you as an individual. . .for instance, you could be an organized person, who has a place for everything, now it depends on whether or not organization’s so important to you that you simply cannot live with a disorganized person. . .or is it something that you can limit to yourself, your house and well, occasionally nag your partner to do and do it for him sometimes if he wishes etc etc. . .

The patriarchy in our society’s so notorious, it’s not funny anymore as to how it exists, in subtle if not blatant forms. I’ve seen people pass comments when they see women smoking and drinking and even more commonly, commenting about women hanging out with their guy friends. A woman who smokes or drinks is immediately branded as being immoral, irresponsible, promiscuous and with no sense of familial and social responsibility. These same people, especially women, barely bat an eyelid when a man does the same. I never judge a man or woman for drinking or smoking, so long as he or she does so without disturbing and harming others. If at all you judge a person for that, at least be consistent in doing so! If smoking and drinking are ‘wrong’, they’re wrong for both a man and a woman. . .another example of this kind of judgement passing is with respect to divorced women. . .if a woman is divorced, some people just assume that it was the woman was not ‘good enough’. . .

When a girl is spoken to about how her marriage should be, her mother often tells her about how she’d have to ‘bend’ if not strictly ‘obey’ to have a ‘peaceful’ marriage. . .society makes tall claims about marriage being a union of two equals, but this is what happens. . .a woman is told that she’d have to ‘meet halfway’ with her husband with respect to difference in opinions but in reality is expected to go almost all the way; a guy on the other hand is seldom told any such thing and therefore seldom pressured with expectations of ‘holding the marriage together’. . . people seem to have forgotten their Math! Meeting halfway for a woman means reaching the 99^th percentile! I’m not generalizing, not all men and mothers are like that. . .there are many people who are quite broad minded with respect to such things. . .I’m talking about the rest of them. . .

Above all this, the reasons behind marriage often appall me. . .marriage should not have to be 'the next logical step' or 'I'm done with my studies and I don't intend to work so to pass my time and for living expenditure, how about I get married' or 'I want sex and babies and marriage gives me both with social approval'. . .it should happen because you've found a person you want to spend the rest of your life with. . .even if it is arranged, you should not marry a person because you think you can live with the person your parents chose for you, it should be because you CAN'T live without this person. . .I respect men and women who can think such things through. . .there's nothing wrong with being a housewife or giving up your career, it should be for the right reasons, like a personal choice of wanting to focus on your family etc. . .not because it's one of those many things that people expect you to do. I hate the use of the word 'should' but nothing else seems to fit here. . .

This post is not about feminism per se, it’s more about choices and fallacies to say the least. . .it’s not even as much about being broad minded as it is about giving people breathing space and allowing them to decide how their life should be, both men and women, because men are sometimes just as pressurized to get married as women  are.

Well, what the hell did I achieve out of putting up this post? I mean not many read it so why? Getting my views across, assimilating my own thoughts? Ah, I don’t know. . .I just hope it makes one introspect and makes for a good read and not a long, boring one. . .

 * Conditions apply. . .only on a women.

Ek aatma, ek zindagi,
Ko kyun diya dilaasa,
Pal do pal ki khushi
Aur ummeed bani niraasha. . .

Udd gaya jo daaman,
Use phir se kyun oddaa. . .
Mastak tale aasmaan,
Phir sapne aisa toddaa

Shaayad tha sab ek vehem,
Woh pyaar, woh dostaana
Kaise nahi dikha sach,
Ab khilli udaata zamaana

Woh rehnuma, woh farishta
Jise chaaron or dekha
Kya hai bas musafir
Ya badal raha jeevan rekha. . .

Kya reh gaya baaki,
Bas ban gaya sab sawaal. . .
Filhaal aate hain baar baar
Keval aise khayaal. . .

Bheed mein bhi dikhe ek,
Chaahe ho hazaaron,
Un sab se oondaa maana
Ek sitaare ko yaaron

Jeevan ka ek sabak,
Sirf ungli bhar hai prasaad
Chak kar aazmaao
Aur dholo, karo aazaad. . .

Kholo apni aankhein,
Yeh duniya bahut badi hai
Utaar do yeh bhoot,
Tujhe bahut chadi hai. . .!

Vanilla sky and hazelnuts
Tens and ones, an everlasting smile,
Cotton buds, woolen pad
All to make me glad

A river of thoughts,
An ocean of love,
No less than an earl
More precious than a pearl

The antsy babe,
Loyal and true
An unusual descent,
A distinct scent. . .

Honey and hazel,
With many others
The life and this memoir
I carry, to deathbed. . .

Hail, joy, it begins
Baptism and the bell
A surge in between, then
Wrapping with the knell

Moving ahead, rising above
At first it might seem,
Then leaving behind, losing ground
Crushing the dream. . .

Somewhere in the surge,
A silent ballad,
Dressing, undressing
A bitter crisp salad. . .

The hallucinogen
Losing its effect
Wished to linger
Now waiting to eject. . .

Pound, ground
Crushed and tried
A light quake
It withered, it died. . .

A death for good?
Or a coma indeed
Staying alert, staying quiet
Wait, pray, touch, heed

Beaten, bruised, broken frame

Thought of straightening it out

If not a change of breed,

Atleast a change of creed

Engulfing new grain,

A vessel of thoughts, a smear of ash

Embracing a novel tune

All, perhaps, too much too soon

Most of all, a new patron,

Through love, faith and hope

Or so he hoped,

Alas, perhaps a bit doped

The cloud of doubt hung above,

Akin to Damocles' sword

However not as sharp;

More a tangy melody of a harp

Something new, yet unturned,

No doubt it was exalting

But had he truly gained?

Forasmuch he was still pained 

Option still open,

Oozing crimson below five

Or just wait and sigh,

Till morning is nigh. . .

Liye haathon mein,
Kuch dhundli yaadein
Kahi khushi ke pal
Kuch raakh, kuch kaattein

Kabhi saagar kinaare baitth roya,
Kabhi bheed mein khulke hasa
Ek bhool kya kam thi
Jo dooje mein phasa. . .

Kehte ise meethi khata,
Aur iski bhi mili use saza
Kisi ne kaha ise galat,
Par usne maane ise paakeezah

Shuruwaat mein hi, kaash
Koi use kahaani ka anth batata. . .
Jiske khaatir rang chaddhaaya
Kaash woh use yeh jataata. . .

Ki uski tapas nahi bekaar. . .
Nahi thi yeh sirf kahaaniyaan
Bas haath baddhaane ki deir thi
Milega use apna aashiyaan

Hasi, sooraj ki roshni,

Dil maano kati patang

Kiya kahin koshish,

Ban na chaaha satrang 

Girgit na the woh,

Bas the unke aneek roop

Bin bole deta saath,

Chaahe ho chaaon ya dhoop

Aur na jaana us mrignaini ne,

Tha woh yaar, pyaar aur muskaan

Kisi ki saans, kisi ki khushi,
Jispar karein woh sab kurbaan

Ek puraane loh ko phir jagaaya,
Roshan hua ek taara
Bas use banaaye rakhe woh,
Na bane kismat ka maara

Jaane kahaan le jaaye use,
Zindagi ke raaste,
Mushkilein aati rahengi
Kat jaao haste haste

Kahi door ban mein,

Phool, bahaar aur chaman

Aur inke sang base

Do pyaare hiran

Chaar pyaare nayan,

Par nazar sirf ek hi

Ek hi ke nazar se

Doosre ne duniya dekhi

Ek hi dhun baar baar,

Unme se ek gaaye

Doosra sune, muskuraaye,

Aur uski dhun mein samaaye

Kahi ankahee baatein,

Aankhon aankhon mein

Ek ki khusboon mehke,

Doosre ki saanson mein 

Lade, jhagde, khelein,

Piyein ek ghaat ka paani

Ek honhaar, maasoom

Dooja natkhat, mastaani

Yeh haule kashish,

Shaayad rahegi sada

Is kadar baah gayi

Ek ko dooje ki adaa

Just feeling bit silly and cheeky today, hence the following :P

Things a girl should avoid saying to a guy:

       ''This hairstyle really suits you"- He thinks ‘Well, it was just to prevent people from noticing  my receeding hairline’

        ''It’s not fair that you eat so much yet still don’t put on weight but we do''- He wonders  ‘You call THAT eating?’ 

        A joke. They seldom find a girl’s joke funny. On the other hand, they think you’re dim if you don’t laugh loudly at theirs!

        ''You should smile more, especially in photos''- He thinks that’s being showy or fake and a subtle smile should do it, especially if it’s a girl taking the photo. . .she's not gonna take it well anyway!

        ''I think I’ve put on weight''- He thinks ‘My God, these girls! Hmmm, it’s been a while since I hit the gym. . .’

        ''You look good in formals''- He’ll just give you a small smile, not say anything, but is thinking ‘Hmmm, she thinks I look good in formals? Nice. . .’ :)

        ''Oh I downloaded so many songs yesterday, hope my internet bill doesn’t shoot up''- 'Amateur. . .'

        ''My cellphone’s conked''- He assumes you to be a technologically challenged human (read woman), gives you millions of solutions, only to later find out that you’ve tried them all out and more, and that, your phone is actually conked! :P

        ''How about you try sporting a stubble?''- He thinks  that’s a stupid idea and eventually tries it out ‘because he got bored of his current look and wanted a change’ :P

        ''Please take care of yourself''- He sighes, thinking ‘I already have a mum, thank you!’

     

 -     Silence- He finds that really creepy and finds out what happened because according to him, you’re a 24 hr radio station! :P

        ''That friend of yours was trying to hit on me. . .''- He’ll just brush that aside, might at the max call it harmless flirting and think ‘I’m gonna get things straight with him, what the hell was that about??!’

        ''What would you say if a friend of yours asked you out?''- Even if he asks you such a thing, such a question from your end freaks the hell outta him :P

        ''Awww, so cute. . .''- He just smiles and there’s no saying whether or not he’s thinking anything at all!

        ''I love you''- NO COMMENTS. 

Is zaailim muqaddar ne,
Kiya bhare zakhm ko taaza
Ab bettha hoon gham mein,
Hai mere dost ka janaaza. . .

Duniya kahein mujhe paagal,
Thi bas ek chhoti si kaza
Par bahut khoya hai maine. . .
Hai mere dost ka janaaza. . .

Hai yeh ek aur pareeksha

Jaane kaunse karm ki saza

Bhale banoo sone sa khara par

Hai mere dost ka janaaza. . .

Sang rahe itne baras,

Tha duniya ki or mera darwaaza

Kaise na manaaon main shok,

Hai mere dost ka janaaza. . .

Rai ka pahaadd hi sahi

Par lut gaya zindagi ka maza

Waqt aane par khair sab milkar

Manaayenge apne is dost ka bhi janaaza. . .

Khwaabon ki taabeer dhoondoon,
Patjhadd mein phool dhoondoon. . .
Yun hi baaton baaton mein,
Khoj mein doob paddhoon. . .

Woh anmol yaadein,
Gul-e-gulzaar
Aur kahi unme simte,
Woh komal ruksaar

Ek hi seep mein base,
Ek se zyaada moti
Khushiyon ki koi sima nahi
Chu jaaye falak ki choti

Duniya dekhe woh nayan,
Main dhoondoon unme tasveer. . .
Lekin haathon mein na saumpe woh mujhe
Shaayad samjhe mujhe kaafir. . .

Rehnuma shaayad na sahi,
Par hai humaari barqat. . .
Na jaane kab se woh
Humaari ek hi ibaadat

People gathered in dozens
To see the new 'pair';
The Dwarf and the Princess;
And goodness did they stare!

And watch all puzzled and amazed,
The beautiful princess, the plain dwarf
Some called it true love
While others merely scoffed

The princess was sweet, down to earth,
The dwarf too was kind. . .
Not too different, but they were
Two souls, two minds. . .

Engaged and to be married,
A couple rare to find;
But a storm incognito
Was going on in the mind

Of the young, plain dwarf
Who worried and wondered
Why she loved him at all;
How to him she surrendered. . .

Did she love him at all
Or was she fulfilling an obligation;
For a favour once done. . .
Oh he lived in perturbation

In thirst, in agony,
Time was of the essence;
Nothing more important in his life
Than her dear presence

A choice to make
And he made it alright. . .
Introspecting his future
Bit murky, bit bright.  . .

The Songbird had delivered
Yet another song. . .
One can think and judge
Whether it was right or wrong.  . .

Head still bent,
Once bitten, twice shy. . .
To din out the pain;
Or let it just go by. . .

Living in a rut,
Touched by the redback
A long journey thence;
To joy, but alas, soon back

Wrapping it all,
In a ‘slice’ of paper. . .
But it degenerates before you
You watch it taper. . .

A few precious words,
May just do the trick;
Or prove adverse and instead,
Break brick by brick. . .

What took all your strength to build,
Your love, life and toil. . .
One wrong trigger
And watch it recoil

Hapless, hopeless, helpless;
Yet you take all the blame
And don’t take what might be
Truly, yours to claim. . . :)

Kisi ki ulfat mein tanha. . .
Kisi ki nazar mein rusva
Aksar aaye yeh khayaal
Ki karde koi agghva. . .

Aur feik aaye kahi hamein. . .
Ulfat aur rusvaai se door. . .
Nahi karna koi faisla
Log hamein dekhke ghoor. . .

Aankh kholne par kaanta chube. . .
Bandh karne par ashq bahein. . .
Ruh ke is tap ko,
Aakhir hum kaise sahein. . .

Nahi manzoor hamein yeh saza
Aisi kya hui humse gustaakhi
Ki kaddha kiya katthghare mein
Lage ab yeh hi rahaa baaki

Ki jis takkaluf mein hai hum,
Use gunaah ka naam diya jaaye. . .
Bina mozon ke koyle par chale,
Haath  mein kora kaagaz diya jaaye. . .

Ya toh ise uddhne de,
Chaahe kuchal de ise koi karvaan. . .
Ya phir ise mehfooz rakhein,
Aur likhe ek nayi daastaan. . .

Par yeh kaise moomkin,
Ki karein punah nikaah. . .
Kaise karein hum bewafaayi
Jab kisi aur par ho chuke fanaa

Kab suljhegi yeh paheli
Kab tak pehne yeh mukhota
Kaash humaari tasaavur ka woh moorat
Humaari haqeeqat hota. . .

Ek bada khubsoorat peiddh

Aankhein badi kiye dekha upar

Darr tha mann mein, phir bhi

Chaddhna chaaha uspar

Haath thandde paddh gaye,

Par koshish thi jaari. . .

Kaano mein goonji woh awaaz

Aur kadam paddh gaye bhaari. . .

Peiddh par do shaakhaayein,

Kisko aazmaayein?

Kaun si shaakha chaddhein

Kisein apnaayein?

Pehli shaakha par manpasand fal

Par daali thi kamzor. . .

Paana chaaha us fal ko

Par toot sakti thi dor. . .

Doosre par bhi tha ek fal,

Pehle sa nyaara toh nahi,

Par daal thi mazboot,

Shaayad na girta kahi. . .

Kabhi sochein ki ek gire

To nahi karna paddhta chunaav,

Par agar zindagi itni aasaan hoti,

No nahi lagta kabhi bhi ghaav. . .

Is dono ke beech beitthe,

Kar rahe hain intezaar,

Koi maseeha aasmaan se utre. . .

Aur zindagi ka banaaye bahaar

The smile on the face,
The joy that dwells
Deep in her heart,
Those jingling bells

The lovable face,
The perfume that smells
Oh so beautiful,
Those jingling bells

The rain that trickled,
Filled up the wells
The drops fell and rang
Those jingling bells

The upside down rainbow,
The feeling it spells
As she often hears
Those jingling bells

With love and pride,
Her chest swells
Her life, her breath,
Those jingling bells

Mutthi dheere khulne laga,
Dikhi haath ki lakeer
Teri zindagi itni kathor nahi
Keh kar bana fakeer

Tham raha tha toofan,
Ya tham raha uska darr?
Suraj dekhkar muskuraayi
Nikal aaye the uske parr

Paanchi chaahe ek hi ho,
Lekin par do lagte hai
Chaand ko yun dekh,
Raaton chakor jagte hain

Andhere mein chhoot jaaye saaya,
Par aatma hamesha sang rahe
Jo tere hai, woh tera hi hai,
Use koi na bhang kare

Jawaan se hain,
Oonde hain janaab
Aur unka hain
Na koi jawaab

Shaano shaukat se,
Daale mooh mein beedi
Aur kad mein the yoon lambe,
Ki zaroorat hai na koi seeddhi

Aam janta ke hain do aankhein,
Huzur ko naseeb hue hain chaar
Sunaai deta lekin thoda kam,
Aur dohraani paddhti baatein baar baar

Adaayein hain lajawaab
Khubsoorati chashme baddoor. . .
Par chitr khinchwaana na jaante
Aur kabhi kabhi lagte langoor!

Kabhi dete duniya bhar ka gyaan,
Kabhi karte bacchon si baatein
Din mein sote rehte,
Kaam karte jaagkar raatein!

Hain laakhon mein ek,
Aur ab aap se kya kahein,
Ummeed karte, ek prarthana
Hamesha khush rahein. . .

She wiped her eyes
Smoothly sat before it
And broke into a smile,
And there's more, just wait a bit. . .

Carved just for her,
'Twice removed from reality'
She gazed dearly for hours
But alas, it was a pity. . .

It wasn't hers to keep;
But who knew she had it?
Perhaps they might find out
But let's just wait a bit. . .

She was not really a thief;
Then one might call it serendipity
That she came across it. .  .
So now was it then truly a pity?

That as she watched it so dearly,
The arrow struck, she was hit
How it felt, she alone knew,
Maybe she'll tell, just wait a bit. . .

Yet another chance,
To find one's wings
To touch the sky;
To feel what it brings. . .

The soft soft clouds,
The rain is another
And sometimes there's thunder
So stand by each other

Hold thy loved one,
Fly on thy wings
As thou hold each other,
And then it rings

That this is the moment,
The essence of life
Almost always a choice,
Knife, rife or wife!

Eye to eye and cheek to cheek,
Love and hatred, both hold passion
Step down a bit and then protect
Thy dear flame of compassion

From dust it began, now back to dust,
The iron had begun to rust. . .

The lonely street,
The new moon's night,
The starless sky,
Didn't give a fright

To the young little chap,
With the handsomest smile
Who stood on the street,
And thought a while. . .

About seeing the moon,
Those golden days,
And how they shared
The moon and its rays. . .

But the moon at night,
Was gone by day
As one, yes one,
Went a separate way

From dust it began, now back to dust,

The iron had begun to rust. . .

Daude chali, aur gale mili. . .
Sab khushi ko usne paaya
Aankhon mein jhalki khushi,
Aur chehre par hayaa

Use jo mehsus kiya,
Badan mein bijli khadki,
Khushi ko samaa na paayi
Woh bholi, masoom ladki. . .

Use dekh ke kya na hua
Dil dhadka, zabaan ruki. . .
Utaawli thi par phir bhi
Palke jhuki jhuki

Kehte mohabbat bhare dil ko Jannat,
Toh Jannat hai uske andar. . .
Kuch asal, kuch tasaavur hi sahi,
Par dil mein bas gaya woh mast kalandar :)

Rimjhim rimjhim barsaat aayi,
Haath baddhaaya, laga akeli thi
Par us baarish mein bheeg rahi,
Sang uski saheli thi. . .

Ek aasmaan, ek baarish,
Bhigoye do badan. . .
Aur haule haule, maddham
Bhujaaye unki agan. . .

Agar baarish thi ek
Toh kyun alag bheegein?
Haath pakde hasein, roye. . .
Aur beech beech mein cheeinke

Chaar saal ek sadi se kam nahi,
Chaahe ho khushi ya gham
Haath pakde aage baddhe,
Bas saath rakha kadam

Do chanchal, madhosh paglion ki,
Baarish mein bahayein aansoon
Jaana, pehchaana ek doosre ko,
Ab dekhte ek doosre ko robaroo

Leiti rahi din bhar woh,
Bukhaar chaddhaa tha bahut tez. . .
Kabhi kabaar nazar daalti,
Dekhti apni kurzi, apni meiz

Palak jhapakte badalti mausam,
Takti dhoop, baarish aur sardi
Sirf mausam nahi, uske badlaav ne
Uski yeh haalat kar di. . .

Meiz par thi uski ghadi,
Deta jo samay ki khabar
Uska waqt pal pal badla,
Par woh raha wahi, nirbhar. . .

Tabiyat kuch theekh nahi thi,
Baahar sardi, badan mein garami thi
Davaai ke asar mein bhi,
Kuch saqti, kuch narmi thi

Par kuch dino ki toh baat thi
Ab bhi woh jawaan thi. . .
Kuch din hi aur tik paata,
Aakhir bimaari mein itni shakti kahaan thi!

Maajhi ne diya dono ko haath,
Aur ek chadhi naav par
Doosre ne kiya inkaar
Namak gira uske ghaav par. . .

Baitthi rahi kinaare par,
Muh kholkar madad na maanga
Uski haqdaar nah thi woh,
Na thi woh paavan ganga. . .

Mukaam jo chala jaaye, woh lautt ta nahi
Maajhi naav sang chala gaya. . .
Kharonche the uspar, nazuk thi
Kuch door insaan woh bhala gaya

Bane mitti ke toh kaahe ko
Lohe ke kawaj se ise mal,
Ye tera naav nahi pyaare,
Na kar khud hi se yeh chhal. . .

Langdaate hue chadhi kinaare par,
Aur dekha udhar se nazariya. . .
Woh us naav par khush thi
Aur sang tha US ka saawariya. . .

Mooh modkar aage badhi,
Par kuch chhoot gaya tha. . .
Aur phir ek baar us se
Uska kismat rooth gaya tha. . .

Vidhaata ke har kasauti par khari utari,
Par ab bhi baaki thi uski pareeksha. . .
Naak ragad ragad ke chalna tha. . .
Anant thi uski prateeksha. . .

Keechad mein bhale khile kamal,
Par keechad uska haqdaar nahi. . .
Bhale ho yeh uska manpasand phool,
Par yeh uska bahaar nahi. . .

Is pagli ka koi jawaab nahi. . .
Baar baar khaati wahi thhokar,
Woh nahi tha uska naav,
Bas guzra, uske rooh se hokar. . .

Bolo parwaane ko ki woh shama se door rahe. . .
Par woh pagla kisi ki kahaan sune. . .
Khud apne pankh jalaakar,
Woh apne dukhon ko bune

Kehte hai daane daane par likha hai
Khaane waale ka naam,
Par yadi daana apna na ho,
To kya koshish karke hon badnaam?

Kisi ka chiraag bujhaakar,
Nahi jalaate khud ka chulhaa
Par agar kisi se bujhe kutiya mein
Hum lagaade ek chhota sa jhula?

Ghode par toh baithke nikal diye,
Par nahi lagaaya us par lagaam
Kisi ne yaad dilaaya tha, phir bhi. . .
Aur diya tha ek pehgaam. . .

Katra katra milkar saagar banaaye,
Toh kyun nahi use pehle hi roka?
Agar saagar na banta toh kar paata kya
Uska kaam ek hawa ka jhonka?

Log pair par kulhaadi maarte hain,
Hum ne toh kulhaadi par pair maari. . .
Karna chaaha tha kuch aur
Aur lut gayi khushiyaan humaari. . .

Jab agan bhujaane ko paani naseeb na hui,
Aur naahi mili thez pawan
To is bewakoof ne madira daala,
Aur agan ka banaa diya hawan. . .

Aur is agan mein jalte hain til til. . .
Majboor hain, karna kya hai. . .
Agar yahi jeena hai doston,
Toh phir marna kya hai?

Karwatte badalte rahe raat pe raat,
Jabte rahe bin anh jal ke maala,
Aur samajh paaye ek roz. . .
Ki kismat par laga tha taala

Ki tei tha us ka banwaas. . .
Tumse aur na battiyaayein. . .
Bas kuch hi thi bhaagyashaali,
Aadi jandh khusi hi paaye. . .

The bell rang. . .when she least expected to hear it. . .her heart beat faster than ever. . .she tried to calm down. . .'ok, how about I pretend I never heard the bell? Maybe he'll go away. . .yeah, that could work. . .' But a few seconds later, she heard a second knock. . .this time stronger, and then repeated knocks. It drove her mad. . .she knew and yet was quite unsure of who was unsure of who it was. . .only if she opened the door would she be able to say so for sure. . .


She asked herself, what it was that scared her. . .was it the fact that he was knocking at her door? No, not that. . .he had knocked before. . .but on those few occasions, she did not particularly attend to him. . .she didn't regret that, circumstances were different. . .as they are different yet again. . .she could no longer hold him back. . .so finally, she opened the door. . .he stood right in front of her. . .right there. . .


She looked into his eyes. . .or atleast tried. . .her vision was blurring. . .tears in her eyes. . .tears for two reasons. One, she was happy to see he was fine, despite her, despite what she had done and not done. . .and secondly because she had finally opened the door. . .he was in front of her. . .he was in front of her. . .he was in front of her. . .voices screaming in her heads. . .she could no longer handle it, she burst into tears. . .she knew not for how long but she cried. . .and cried. . .he was here. . .and she had to play host. . .and endure unbearable torture. . .as that was all she could do. . .her Lancelot. . .was going to stay. . .for long. . .

Naazuk haathon se khola jharoka,
Aur laga thandi hawa ka ek halka jhonka,
Aaj bhi wahi baat use khata,
Khair, kya hoga, kise pata

Gham ka mukkhota tha uski hasi,
Bewakuf lekin samjhe, hasi toh phasi
Mann bola, is raaz ko na bata,
Khair, kya hoga, kise pata

Sheesha haath se jaaye chhoot,
Ek pal mein ho sakta hai toot
Par nahi chhodi ummeed ki lata,
Khair, kya hoga, kise pata

Uska tha na isme koi kasoor,
Kisi ke haalaat par thi woh majboor
Jataakar bhi na jata,
Khair, kya hoga, kise pata

Duniya ne use saraakhaa,
Par shaayad sahi na parkha
Ek hi tha uska ata pata,
Khair, kya hoga, kise pata

Earrings, shoes, socks,
Ears, hands, and eyes
I comprehend and feel, the same,
Not merely once, not just twice

Literature and history repeat,
One witnesses this a lot,
She's not a myth, she exists,
The Lady of Shalot

Most have a story,
An epic or atleast a novella
Most are one or the other,
Either hapless Pip or Estella

So personal, so intoxicating,
To others merely gossip juicy,
Only you know the kick,
Of having your Lucy

Is this also my destiny, my fate,
Dried flowers, weathered stones
That my heart too, alas
Be interred with my bones. . .

The Pink lady they call her. . .

She waits there by the corner,
Waiting for someone to adorn her. . .
A hand to pick her,
A tongue to lick her. . .

The touch of a hand, she waits,
Uses her body, she baits. . .
Sit elegantly, unmoving,
While they watch her, all drooling

One can see, she's labelled often. . .
Sum unlabel her, sum jus won't
Most get a taste of her. . .
Many like her, very few don't

Many a time, they don't realize,
They leave behind seeds. . .
Sum are discarded young,
While others grow into mere weeds

Very few escape the web,
The misfortune, the deceit. . .
But the Pink Lady, they love her,
Subtle, sweet, discreet. . .

Five in tens' place, none in ones',
Most were daughters, sum were sons
Sum made me feel triumphant,
Sum were 'hills like white elephants'

'Turning and turning in the widening gyre',
And set to flame the funeral pyre
A few here n there like flow charts,
N others 'could twist the sinews of thy heart'

Many a joy and many a shock,
'Had placed that bell on the inchcape rock'
Here and there a gossomy shroud,
'I wandered lonely as a cloud'

Some might say that she had,
'A heart---how shall I say---too soon made glad'
And thereby rest among a jolly lot,
'The Lady of Shalot'

Walked along, felt understood,
While 'two roads diverged in a wood'
Held some back, although we met. . .
'Because I could not stop for Death'


Lasted dis long :) n 2 these great minds, thank you :) :) :)

Haath mein liye ek jaam,
Kiya unko salaam
Koi kahe ise kaari saanjh
Hum kahe ise suhaani shaam

Musalaadhaar baarish ki tarah,
Ek meethi saazish ki tarah
Hazaaron nakshatra uski kutiya mein,
Dheir saara pyaar uski chhittiya mein

Mutthi kholi aur nikli titliyaan pyaari,
Khadi beechon beech phoolon ki kyaari
Ek do murjhaaye, unka aa gaya tha samay
Par inke baad hi toh aaye pushp naaye :)

Har din kuch naya ghatt ta,
Aur yeh mera din banaaye rakh ta
Mere liye karte khud ko arpan,
Aur dikhta hai inmein apna darpan

Haste khelte, khil khilaate,
Jhil mil jhil mil, muskuraate
Baate shehed si aur phoolon ki mehek
Ji bhar ke sunti hoon inki chehek

Lekin duniya ki samajh se yeh na vanchit,
Aur inke sawaal karde logon ko chakit
Maaf karte unhe jo pahunchaate kheid,
Aur dil mein nahi rakhte koi bheid

Kuch toh hai inmein baat,
Pavitr hain unse jude har jazbaat
Inki kilkaariyaan meri mann mein goonje
Aur kahi baar mujhe yeh baat soojhe

Is kadar karte mujhse pyaar,
Hoon na hoon chaahe main iski haqdaar
Ek sookoon sa hai inke nazariye mein,
Aur bas gaye hain yeh dil ke nagariye mein

Zameen par thi toh aasmaan ko choona chaaha,
Taare mile toh chaand par hona chaaha
Par laalach bhi thi kuch is tarah,
Ki paane ke liye kuch khona na chaaha

Guzar rahi hai zindagi kuch theekh si,
Mili ek se zyaada seekh bhi
Phir bhi kadam baddhaakar use rokna chaaha
Aur maangni chaahi ek bheekh si. . .

Lekin kadam na baddhe yeh accha hua,
Nahi poori hui woh anhonee dua
Jo mila woh bahut hai shaayad
Kam se kam kisine humaare ruh ko chhuaa. . . :)

Ajeeb lagta hai kabhi kabhi :P kabhi log hamein chhodke jaate hai. . .aur ab hamein aisa karna paddh raha hai. . .haalan ki humaari zindagi mein ko madde nazar rakhte hue dekha jaaye toh in dono paristithion mein bahut antar hai :) khair jo bhi ho :) bahut kuch peechhe chhod kar door desh ki or ek yaatra. . .is yaatra ka matlab, is se laabh? Soch ti hoon ki jo chhoot raha hai, uske badle mein jo mil raha hai, kya woh santulit hai? :) Jaanu na. . .kam se kam ab tak toh nahi. . .jaakar jaan paaoon shaayad. . . :) mann mein kahi sawaal. . .kuch adhoori kahaaniyaan :) darr hai ki nayi zindagi ke bhawar mein kho na jaaon. . .pakke dor bhi kacche na ban jaaye. . .kya kar paaongi, kya nahi. . .kuch kar paaoongi bhi ya nahi. . .khud aage baddhne ke chakkar mein sab peechhe toh na chhoot jaaye :) ek or vidya paane ki chaah. . .doosri or khud ko bikharne se bachaane ki koshish. . . :) ek aur ek nayi duniya ki khushaali aur aazaadi. . .doosri aur beeti zindagi ki yaadein. . . :)

Bas, yeh ummeed hai ki sab theekh jaaye. . .mushkilon ka saamna karne ki himmat hai :) ummeed hai ise banaaye rakh paaoongi :)

Mann bhi tha nazuk, baawla,
Aur kismat bhi tha kuch saawla
Baar baar dhoondta wahi chehraa. . .
Par uske chaaro or tha pehraa

Jaagti ummeed toh dil jaata machal,
Aur phir use koi jaata kuchal. . .
Kabhi zakhm par daalte marham,
Par kabhi woh khud hi ban jaata ek bhram

Jannat ki maang ki toh mitti bhi naseeb na hua. . .
Khushiyon ki ameeri, phir bhi dukh ka gareeb na hua
Lavzon se toh uff tak na kiya
Socha par yeh ki main jiya ya na jiya?

Parwat ki choti dekhi, aur khaai ki gehraai bhi,
Yaar ka pyaar dekha aur sanam ki bewafaai bhi
Aasmaan mein aazaad shaayad hi parinda hoon,
Par zinda hoon, zinda hoon, zinda hoon. . . :)

Do kadam aage, phir ek kadam peeche. . .doosron ki baat toh na kar sakti, par itna jaano hoon ki bhai apni zindagi kahi mahino se kuch is prakaar se chal rahi hai (shukar manaati hoon ki ise paddhne waala shaayad hi koi hai :P) khair, yeh toh waqt waqt ki baat :) matlab aaj zindagi aise hai, par shaayad pehle aise na thi. . .aur aage bhi na hogi :) aage toh bahut pehle baddh chuke the hum, bas beech beech mod aa jaate hai aur hum ruk jaate hain :) mod bhi kuch is prakar ki ke kya kahein. . .ghussa toh is baat par aata hai isme humaari koi galti nahi :) ab akele safar na kar rahe hote toh baat shaayad alag thi :) par sach toh yeh hai ki ek hadd tak SAB akele safar karte hain :) bas, kuch log doosron se zyaada akele paddh jaate hain. . . :)

Ajab baat toh yeh hai kehne ko akele hota koi nahi hai :) sab mann ka khel hai :) haath baddhaakar dekhiye toh, dekhna, use thaamne log aage ZAROOR aayenge :) main yeh itne yakeen se kaise keh sakti hoon? :) Kyunki sach toh yeh hai ki haath baddhaane ke liye bada kaleja chaahiye :) badi himmat chaahiye :) Sab darr mein jeete hain, aur beech mein ahm bhi toh aa jaata hai :) kisi ke saamne galti se aansoon tapak gaye toh sharmindagi mehsoos hoti hai. . .kisi ko humaari kamzori dikh gayi toh lajjit ho jaate hain. . .dil ki aawaaz kisi ne sun li toh nazre jhuk jaati hain. . .aur koi pyaar bhari nazar se dekhe aur kareeb aa jaaye, toh use kabhi kabaar dhakka maar dete hai. . .kuch is prakaar ki woh insaan zor se gir jaata hai aur zakhmi ho jaata hai. . .

Chamatkaar ki ummeed mein bas kaatt lete hain zindagi :) haan bhai chamatkaar ho sakta hai, kyun nahi :) intezaar kar sakte ho toh. . . :)

Kahi baar mann mein wahi pyaas jagi,
Aur use poori karne ki aas jagi
Par jab bhi woh is raah par chala,
Uska haath tha jalaa

Na tha woh koi chor
Bas door se dekhta usko,
Jaise chaand ko chakor
Aur uski khushi par jhoom utthta
Jaise baarish mein naachta mor

Dil ko sambhaala par lab na rukaa,
Jazbaat ko sambhaala toh nazar jhuka
Ho gaya tha woh bekaaboo,
Chal gaya tha us par woh jaadoo

Par haqeeqat se thi uski pehchaan,
Use paana na tha aasaan
Aur woh tha uski nazar mein anjaan
Karna tha use is sacchai ka maan

Ki woh thi falak ki hoor pari. . .
Aur woh mitti ka bana mamooli insaan :)

Aankhon mein chuban,
Saanson mein agan
Ek khooni darinde ki tarah nikal paddha,
Ek junoon sa tha us par chadhaa

Ghusse ke garmi mein,
Karna tha satyaanash
Par bevakoof yeh na dekh paaya
Ki satyaanash mein bhi hai satya ka naash

Yeh toh na thi usski iccha,
Par har bar use logon ne galat samjhaa
Isliye khud ko usne,
Ek band kamre mein sanjhoya

Baahar nikalne par use tircchi nazar se dekhte
Maano woh tha chidiyaghar se bhaaga
Lekin thi us par beddiyon ki jagah
Kuch adbhud rang ka dhaaga

Par is baar nazar oonchi karke nikla
Shama ka parwaana, deewaana, pagla
Ab bhi tha apni duniya mein magn,
Par is baar nahi tha woh nagn!

Jaane kitni door woh bhaag rahi. . .

Peeche mud kar dekhna na tha sahi. . .

Aur na jaa sakti thi baainyi ya daayi

Ek or tha kuaan, doosri or khaai

Sir bina mudaaye seedhe chali,

Haath mein liye ek nazook si kali

Dene ke liye har baar sirf ek cheez

Jo kisi ko na laga lazeez

Girke sambhalna, sambhalkar phir girna,

Maano har bar tha ek naya jharna

Mann is hi baat par jhool raha tha,

Aur saath mein saans fool raha tha

Apni haalaat par ek gaane ke do bol yaad aaye use. . .

'Manzilon se rahein dhoondti chali

Kho gayi hai manzil kahi raahon mein'. . . :)

Ummeed. . .us hi ke sahaare toh jee rahi thi woh. . .kehne ko toh khud ko lekar woh thodi bahut laahparwaah thi, par ab nahi. . .phoonk phoonk ke har kadam rakhti thi aaj kal :) aur rakhni bhi chaahiye :) aksar uska haath apni peitth ki or jaata :) na. . .kokh ki or :) ek taraf jab use yeh lagne laga tha ki uski zindagi khatam ho rahi thi, usi or ek naya zindagi ki shuruwaat ho rahi thi. . . :) waakayi mein ek nayi zindagi :) kehne ko toh woh kuch nahi jaanti thi us naye jeev ke baare mein. . .kuch bhi toh nahi. . .par use mehsoos kar rahi thi woh. . .har lamha. . . woh ehsaas bhi tha kitna khoobsurat :) aur usse juda hua. . .

Aur uske saath judi uski zindagi ki sabse puraani kahaani. . . :)

Distinct, distant voices. They were talkin about sum1. . .she opened her eyes and saw familiar faces. . .n smiled :) every face she expected 2 c was there. . .but her eyes searched 4 one more. . .jus one. . .d one. . .exhausted as she was, she closed her eyes. . .jus 2 rest a bit. . .so tat she may have d strength 2 continue again. . .she knew not how long after, but she felt a gentle touch :) she didn even have 2 open her eyes 2 know who it was :) but she opened them neway. . .4 a look, tat look. . .She lay, holding his hand, nothin sd between them, yet all understood. . .as was always they always did. . .

Another face. . .dis one she disliked. . .nay, abhorred. . .n turned her face wid a strong force. . .n looked bk a li’l while later, jus 2 c if he still stood there. . .n he did. . .a sympathetic smile on his face. . .sympathetic? She didn want his sympathy. . .not his. . .n sympathy? Y was he ‘sympathetic’? She didn understand. . .there was a hint of triumph on his face tat disturbed her. . .as though callin her foolish for her beliefs. . .which beliefs? She was confused. . .n worried. . .but fell asleep soon again. . .

She woke up. . .n stepped out of her room. . .it had been a while since she last did tat. . .she looked yet again 4 d face tat lit hers. . .but dis tym, it was missin. . .she became desperate. . .frantic. . .ah, hide n seek. . .there it was :) she ran towards it. . .2 hell wid d looks ppl were givin her. . .she filled herself in his arms. . .n didn realize 4 how long. . .her eyes closed, baskin in d immense joy she was experiencin. . .n then, it was tym 2 open them. . .n ppl were still lookin. . .y did things look so wrong? She knew not. . .till her eyes fell on d mirror. . . n she saw. . .her eyes fixed on it for a considerable amt of tym. . .her eyes glistened. . .n she quitely slipped bk in. . .sat 2 herself 4 a bit, seemingly calm, but mind racin wid thots. . .n she fell asleep, yet again. . .

Kyun wahi madira baar baar pilate ho,
Zakhm khol kar use dobaara silaate ho
Ek nakhush zindagi jee rahe ho,
Aur apne ashkon ko pee rahe ho

Kyun karte ho khud par taras,
Aise toh bas beet jaayenge baras
Zindagi toh baddh jaayegi aage,
Isliye na kaso kacche dhaage

Buland karo apna haunsla,
Banaao ek naya ghonsla
Khud tei karna hai safar apni zindagi ka,
Asal mein saath hai sirf bandagi ka